Relationship Problems

affectionate couple
Some couples need to let the love shine through

The first thing we need to look at is how a couple communicates with each other. Speaking the same language is not enough. For instance, some people express love mainly through their words, others offer
practical help and care, others show affection physically. If partners’ way of
showing love is mismatched, they may have problems “getting through” to each
other, sabotaging their relationships.

Any strong emotion, such as anger, swamps the mind’s ability to think clearly. This makes it impossible to understand
anything beyond the simplest ideas and expressions. Angry people have poor
relationships because do not listen. Instead they interpret what they hear based on their own assumptions about the other person. When people get unreasonably angry due to something their partner did or said, it’s usually because this reminds them of some other situation, often in childhood. They need help to see and hear their partner in the present day, as himself or herself, not some other person.

When we’re angry, we can easily remember other situations when we were angry, while forgetting times when we felt different-
even if those times happen much more often.

Hypnosis can help you to control your emotional reactions, and thus be able to think clearly and improve communication. It can help for anger management, so long as the person realises that anger is their
problem and not just someone else’s fault.

Over the many years in which I've been in practice I have found that people of different sexual orientations have much the same problems as straight people, although other people's homophobia may be an added complication. Whatever the client's sexual preferences, the first thing I need to know is how that particular relationship is working, what do they want and need from each other, what can they give to each other, what blocks them from meeting each other's needs. This is something that only my clients can tell me, because every couple is unique. This applies even more so to relationships outside of the "vanilla" world, such as polyamorous and BDSM relationships. I do not assume anything. 

Sexual problems can occur even in the best relationships for various reasons, although they may be a symptom of an underlying problem. These can also be addressed. 

Some people approach me, looking for a “quick fix” for their relationship, expecting me to hypnotise their partner to “make them” behave differently. I always refuse these requests, because therapy is not a
means of manipulating one partner for the other’s convenience. I am interested in undoing the damage done by controlling relationships, not making them even more controlling!

two women holding hands
My clients include all sexual orientations